The Roses of Success

Points to whoever gets the title reference. But anyway...it's been an interesting week. David (my truck driving husband) came in on Saturday, which Sunday was my birthday and my daughter was baptized after church. It was a very nice day all the way around. Then the weekend was over, and it was back to reality. (whoop)

I had sent my resume into an alterations shop. We could use the extra money, but I wasn't really sure about a full time job because I would hardly ever see Seri (Serenity my daughter), I wouldn't have time to do anything my creative soul needs to do so I don't go into a major depression, and I just was cast as a lead in the musical '9 to 5' ( Getting my Dolly on). But I sent in the resume, wouldn't hurt to see. Then I got an interview scheduled. I started panicking a little bit but I figured I'd suck it up and go and see what it was all about. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to quit my current job (a few shifts a month but full days working on broadway shows going through a major theatre) or if I wanted to give up all my extra time to workout and crochet and create art,

I'd been battling with myself because everyone gets a job they hate and don't have the time they want to do the things they enjoy. But something just wasn't sitting well with me, even with that logic. I felt really uneasy.

Tuesday came and I went to the interview. 46 minutes away from where I live. It's a business run by an Asian mother and daughter and another guy that I think manages the business more for them while they do the sewing. Pretty much, they had more work than they could handle and need people asap. They tried me on one of their machines, a old industrial one that I was not used to. I know the work I was doing was not up to the mother's standards. What can I say? Stage costumes don't need to be quite as particular about extremely straight lines and tiny hems. If you won't see it from the stage it's not as big a deal.

So after 40 minutes of being extremely judged by an old Asian woman, the guy said they were interested in working with me and that they would be willing to allow a time for training me on their machines and getting me up to their standards. We scheduled that I would start the next Monday.

I left feeling a little good about getting a job, 9-5 (ironic right?) Mon-Fri, but still felt unease and extremely anxious. As I called my husband and parents to tell them during my drive back home I got even more anxious, to the point I was fighting a panic attack. I've dealt with anxiety all my life, but I have never felt this bad about a job. When I got home I got hysterical with my husband and as he held me he told me not to take the job. That if it was already causing this anxiety it would just get worse.

That helped a bit, but I still felt pathetic that I couldn't handle this, so I called the person I knew would help me feel better, my mom. We are big believers in listening to our instincts. She asked me how I felt about the job when I prayed. I told her I felt full of doubt and anxious. Then she asked me if I pray about not taking the job how I felt. It made me feel calm. "There's your answer." She said. That and the fact that I'm usually the only parent around for Seri and if I took this job I would hardly ever get to spend time with her. That's a big deal for me.

So we decided I wouldn't take the job. I was going to wait just a couple days and then tell them that something had come up and I couldn't take the job. But here's the kicker. I got a call from them today. Apparently, with what they were estimating with the easy jobs I could do and how long it would take me to work up to the more expensive jobs, and with the drive back and forth I wouldn't be making hardly any money. So they said it wasn't fair for me to take this job. I'm pretty sure they're more worried about how long it would take me to reach their standards, but I'm so good with it. This made it so I wouldn't have to have an anxiety attack about calling them!

So, I am currently working on setting up my online store on here and getting ready to advertise custom Halloween costumes. Also, looking into booths at shops that I can rent to sell my stuff as well. Apparently, I was never meant to have that job.

#humor #lifestyle #job #acting #sewing #moms #crochet #serendipity